Thursday, September 01, 2005

Tears & Tantrums

Yesterday was not a good day, by any stretch of the imagination, we have days where we can go from start to finish with very little upsetting Michael's world. He has the odd falling out/tantrum caused by a disagreement with his siblings. But all siblings fall out, show me a family where it doesn't happen, and I want to know how it's done!!

Yesterday was, what is referred to in this house, as an "A-day". One of those days when the Autism Dx hits home, and hard. One of those days when there seems to be 'nothing' to Michael other than the Autism. One of those days when it is literally tantrum after tantrum, from first thing in the morning until last thing at night; when nothing in his world is right.

Days like these are tiring not only for him, but for everyone, these are days when Michael spends most of his time in tears, screaming, shouting, wailing and lashing out. These are days when everything is wrong and nothing is right, there is no negotiating, no reasoning, no distracting. These are days when the only thing that stops the tantrum, for a short period of time, is getting what he wants.

Trouble with this, giving in to his demands, does him no favours, nor does it do his siblings either, it wouldn't take them long to realise that Michael is always getting his own way, although I have to admit, sometimes the thoughts of anything for a quiet life, appeals more than the thoughts of tantrums for hours at a time!!

The other part of this is, that he doesn't always know what it is he actually wants!! How do you deal with someone who is besides themselves, the pain and anguish is so visible, and yet often he doesn't know what it is he actually wants!!!!

The tantrums yesterday, ranged from wanting the door to the garden shut, with his siblings wandering in and out and leaving the door open, to dissolving because he wanted to watch a music video that wasn't on Play Time! no matter how hard we tried, to explain, to show him, it just didn't work with him - he wanted and that was all he could see.........

Then there were others, just don't ask what they were about because, I have no idea.

These are days I dread, these are days that try patience to it's limits, exhaust coping skills, and these are days, I wonder what any of us did to deserve this.

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